Post Traumatic Stress + Relationships

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a recurrent emotional reaction to a terrifying, uncontrollable or life-threatening event. It is a real illness and treatment can help. The onset of anxiety and other post traumatic stress disorders is directly linked to any terrifying and violent event that threatens the life of an individual or the family. It doesn't necessarily mean the individual was directly threatened.This disorder is a very common problem that affects individuals after going through a horrifying experience.

In my new novel Champagne, Jellybeans, and Chocolate the main character Royce Tyler suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He has recently suffered a major tragedy and loss in his life. This has sent him spiraling out of control and homeless. At this low point in life he is reaquainted with his college girlfriend Paula Daniels. He is very interested in reconnecting with her. Should he tell her the truth about his mental state? Is it any of her business? What would you do?

Read on to learn a little more about what PTSD is and what Royce is facing?

Maybe you or someone you know has battled this illness as well...

Symptoms of PTSD such as profound shock, anxiety and despair are often manifested in victims. Also common are avoidance, anxiety, nightmares, irritability and detachment. Symptoms of PTSD include flashbacks of the traumatic event, nightmares of the traumatic event, emotional numbness, poor sleeping patterns depression and/or irritability or outbursts of anger. After the terrifying ordeal, the person who develops post traumatic stress disorder or a related symptom will become emotionally numb, lose interest in things they previously enjoyed, become irritable, more aggressive, startle easily or perhaps become violent.

Depression is a common product of this inability to resolve painful feelings. Disassociation, or other mental health problems can develop as a result of this terrifying experience. Alcohol or other substance abuse, or other anxiety disorders frequently co-occur with PTSD.

It is imperative this help be obtained quickly through contacting your family doctor, hospitals, private clinics, local psychiatric societies, mental health specialists such as psychologists and social workers or your local victims of crime association. The police and social service agencies will be able to provide you with this contact information if you cannot locate it in your phone book.

For further information visit the National Institute of Mental Health site at http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/index.shtml

For a free 15 chapter preview of author RL Taylor's Champagne, Jellybeans, and Chocolate or to learn more about other books please visit http://www.rltayloronline.com

My secret - I am Royce Tyler

Hello,

My name is Royce Tyler and I've been dealing with a lot of emotional stress lately and I'm looking to pull myself out of this saddened state. For the past few months I've been walking around trying to conceal this secret that I've been living with. It's bugging me because I feel like there isn't anyone out there who understands my situation.

I don't know who to turn to..who I can talk to? I'm really afraid that people will laugh at me, or look down on me. Believe me I'm trying to make it...it's hard. I'm not here to ask for money or even your sympathy. Really, a little understanding would be nice. Please, don't treat me like I have some kind of death-dealing contagious disease. I'm just looking for a listening ear. There's more people out here like me than you may even realize. I look just like you. Trust me, you couldn't pick me out of a crowd. I'm educated and well-spoken but that didn't stop me from ending up in this predicament.


I'm ashamed it's come to this point. I promise myself everyday that things are going to turn around. Things are going to change. I ran into an old girlfriend from college this morning. She had it going on. She looked absolutely amazing and had a a great job. I couldn't force myself to tell her the truth. When she asked me how I'd been doing I just lied and told her I was fine. In reality I'm not. I'm battling depression. There's more...I have to be honest. I have to tell someone. I'm homeless. There I said it....homeless.


To read more about me and my predicament, enjoy a free 15 Chapter preview of RL Taylor's new novel: Champagne, Jellybeans, and Chocolate. Click here for your FREE copy

Watch the short video about my situation by clicking here

How do you react to homeless people? Have you or anyone you know ever been forced to live on the street? How close do you think the average person is to ending up homeless?

A Few Homeless Facts and Statistics:

• Nationwide, 44 percent of homeless people have some sort of jobs, according to the latest statistics available from U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development.


• Of the adults who requested emergency food aid in 26 major American cities this year, 67 percent were employed, according to a report released recently by the U.S. Conference of Mayors.
  That's almost double the 37 percent found last year in the 30 cities surveyed by the mayors' conference; but no one at the organization can explain the increase.


• In 2006 52% of homeless adults and 54% of homeless youth 17 and younger report a recent diagnosis or treatment for a serious mental illness. In addition, 33% of adults and 24% of youth report cognitive disabilities that make them frequently confused or cause problems in making decisions.

For more information on this subject, please visit: http://www.nationalhomeless.org/

Why can't relationships be easy?

This is a fair question. There are many answers.

How do you feel? Below are 5 issues couples face today...

Issue #1: The Breadwinner-

Up until recently the male has been the provider of the typical American family. He won the bread and he brought home the goods. When the opportunity for marriage came along, it wasn't always an entirely attractive opportunity. It was a leap of faith to marry because it seemed he had a lot of freedom to lose. For a woman however, marriage was an opportunity to gain freedom. Freedom from the burden of providing for herself and the opportunity to try her hand at something she had never done before----have children. It's no wonder that women want marriage and men think twice.

Issue #2: The Breadwinner Catch-22-

Today, women value work, success and education, sometimes to the extent that they no longer seek the opportunities of family life. Many women today earn more than their man. What is he supposed to do? He can provide more than money for the family but his role has become cheapened---almost unnecessary. The woman takes a physical role (breadwinner) and a spiritual role (mother) and leaves very little for the man. What is his role? It's no wonder a man shirks from his “responsibilities.” What are his responsibilities?

Issue #3: Men Love their Playtime-
Men seem to value play and want freedom. However, most men are well aware that marriage isn't always about play. In fact, most of the time it's not about play. Women who value friendship and companionship sometimes think,commitment and children will force them to prioritize their values as they would prefer not to. It's reasonable to see why the male counterpart sometimes shies away from the serious relationship that is presented to him.

Issue #4: Fear of Failure-

Also with the fear of investing in a serious relationship is the fear of failure, and nothing offers as much potential for failure as marriage. It's been said that love is a gamble. It’s cruel. It’s dangerous. Commitment, can be even more of a minefield. No wonder that when love rears its head, many men hesitate – or turn and run.Serious Relationship Phobia

Issue #5: Lack of Options-

Believe it or not, a woman living in the U.S. Today will have far more options than the male counterpart who shares her same economic status. She can decide she wants children, that she wants to work, that she wants to go back to school, that she wants to change her career, that she wants it all.

All of that said; a serious relationship, when done with respect, and very careful consideration can actually be quite pleasant for both sexes...

What do you think are the biggest relationship issues facing couples today?

What have you done to have success in love?

In my new novel this subject is explored in dramatic fashion as Royce Tyler and Paula Daniels experience the ups and downs of trying to make things work in a society that doesn't make things easy.

It's even more difficult when one person is hiding the truth....

To read a FREE 15 Chapter excerpt from Champagne, Jellybeans, and Chocolate click here

Getting back together with your ex....

Getting back together after a long time can seem like a tricky proposition. If you are committed to making this relationship work there are a few things to keep in mind so that you can avoid the potential pitfalls that had you parting ways in the past. It’s a good idea to keep these things in mind as you explore a new relationship whether you've been apart for months or years.

Getting back together after a long time is not that uncommon. Couples are now finding one another and reconnection after years thanks to the power of the Internet and many programs that allow you to touch base with high school and college connections. A few thoughts…Don't work so hard at rekindling an old flame. That flame died for a reason. Make a point of building a new relationship based on the people you are today rather than the person you knew so long ago.
Strong bonds of love stand the test of time. If you really loved each other at one time the chances are that the love you felt didn't go away. It's still there you just might need to work a little bit to rekindle things. Chances are you buried it deep once the relationship ended - whatever the reason for the initial breakup may have been. People change. Hopefully for the better. Take the time to get to know the new person behind the familiar face. Getting to know the new person while remembering the things you loved about at the heart of your former sweetheart will assist you in not focusing on the new expectations and staying more focused on hope for the future. Look forward and not behind.

It is found to be difficult when getting back together after a long break to keep your eyes to the future. There is a past there but that past should stay buried. It’s the past. Don’t bring arguments from the old relationship up and make sure you work hard to live your relationship in the here and now rather than attempting to relive the relationship that ended so long ago. Talk, hold hands, and reminisce. Keep your eyes to the future rather than looking back at the relationships past.

Have you ever gotten back with an ex? If so, how did things work out?
Would you recommend this course of action to someone else?

In my new novel, Champagne, Jellybeans, and Chocolate the main characters reconnect after quite a few years apart. Their lifestyles have taken a change and their are a lot of secrets that they struggle to keep hidden. For a free 15 Chapter preview, click here