Keep Your Head Up

Sometimes the person we show to our mate is a mask. The mask says that we are confident. But behind the mask, tells the real story....
Many people have low self esteem and fear rejection.
You can only attract to you what you believe about yourself.
In other words, most times, you will get what you think you deserve. Only you know how you feel about yourself. So often, we want to be swept off our feet as we see on the movie screen or in a book. The term, "soul mate". Is that even possible, or realistic?
Soul Mate is defined as a strong magnetic ffinity to another person.It's easy to become attracted to the wrong person for what we need to fill in ourselves.Sometimes people falsely fill this hole looking outside of themselves. It doesn't work.Today, be courageous and look at your self esteem.
What connection is there between your self esteem and how you are being treated in your relationship?
When you improve your self esteem, you will attract the love you truly desire...
How important is self esteem in a relationship?
What can you do to build your loved one up?

For more information on RL Taylor and/or to recieve a FREE 15 Chapter preview of his latest novel; Champagne, Jellybeans, and Chocolate click here
To listen to RL read excerpts from his books click here

Disturbing Facts?

Can we believe these statistics?
They were posted online and I questioned their authenticity...
How can each of us help create positive change?
Are authors and entertainers instrumental in influencing societal behavoir?
What types of storylines are you most interested in?
Is this propaganda?

RL Taylor reads several chapters from his books. Listen by clicking here

-70% of all black children are born out of wedlock.
-62% of black families with children are headed by a single parent.
-85% of black children do not live in a home with their fathers.
-Only 15-20% of black children born today will grow up with 2 parents until age 16.
-70% of African-American boys in the criminal justice system come from single-parent homes.
-50% of all new AIDS cases are in the Black community which comprises only 12% of the population.
-85% of all AIDS cases in Atlanta are black women.
-African-Americans are 20 times more likely than other races to have gonorrhea.
-AIDS is now the #1 killer of black women, age 25-44.
-67% of black women with AIDS contracted HIV thru heterosexual sex.
-Black men in America engage in polygamous relationships, 3 1/2 times that of White or Hispanics.
-Nearly 2 million black males are either currently in a state or federal prison or have been in one.
-By age 30, only 52% of black women will marry compared to 81% of white women, 77% of Hispanics and Asians.

Can this be true? What can each of us do to help if it is?

RL Taylor hopes to create positivity through his writing.
To listen to RL reading excerpts from his novels click here

For a free 15 Chapter preview of his latest novel Champagne, Jellybeans, and Chocolate visit the official website at: http://www.rltayloronline.com/

Post Traumatic Stress + Relationships

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a recurrent emotional reaction to a terrifying, uncontrollable or life-threatening event. It is a real illness and treatment can help. The onset of anxiety and other post traumatic stress disorders is directly linked to any terrifying and violent event that threatens the life of an individual or the family. It doesn't necessarily mean the individual was directly threatened.This disorder is a very common problem that affects individuals after going through a horrifying experience.

In my new novel Champagne, Jellybeans, and Chocolate the main character Royce Tyler suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He has recently suffered a major tragedy and loss in his life. This has sent him spiraling out of control and homeless. At this low point in life he is reaquainted with his college girlfriend Paula Daniels. He is very interested in reconnecting with her. Should he tell her the truth about his mental state? Is it any of her business? What would you do?

Read on to learn a little more about what PTSD is and what Royce is facing?

Maybe you or someone you know has battled this illness as well...

Symptoms of PTSD such as profound shock, anxiety and despair are often manifested in victims. Also common are avoidance, anxiety, nightmares, irritability and detachment. Symptoms of PTSD include flashbacks of the traumatic event, nightmares of the traumatic event, emotional numbness, poor sleeping patterns depression and/or irritability or outbursts of anger. After the terrifying ordeal, the person who develops post traumatic stress disorder or a related symptom will become emotionally numb, lose interest in things they previously enjoyed, become irritable, more aggressive, startle easily or perhaps become violent.

Depression is a common product of this inability to resolve painful feelings. Disassociation, or other mental health problems can develop as a result of this terrifying experience. Alcohol or other substance abuse, or other anxiety disorders frequently co-occur with PTSD.

It is imperative this help be obtained quickly through contacting your family doctor, hospitals, private clinics, local psychiatric societies, mental health specialists such as psychologists and social workers or your local victims of crime association. The police and social service agencies will be able to provide you with this contact information if you cannot locate it in your phone book.

For further information visit the National Institute of Mental Health site at http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/index.shtml

For a free 15 chapter preview of author RL Taylor's Champagne, Jellybeans, and Chocolate or to learn more about other books please visit http://www.rltayloronline.com

Why can't relationships be easy?

This is a fair question. There are many answers.

How do you feel? Below are 5 issues couples face today...

Issue #1: The Breadwinner-

Up until recently the male has been the provider of the typical American family. He won the bread and he brought home the goods. When the opportunity for marriage came along, it wasn't always an entirely attractive opportunity. It was a leap of faith to marry because it seemed he had a lot of freedom to lose. For a woman however, marriage was an opportunity to gain freedom. Freedom from the burden of providing for herself and the opportunity to try her hand at something she had never done before----have children. It's no wonder that women want marriage and men think twice.

Issue #2: The Breadwinner Catch-22-

Today, women value work, success and education, sometimes to the extent that they no longer seek the opportunities of family life. Many women today earn more than their man. What is he supposed to do? He can provide more than money for the family but his role has become cheapened---almost unnecessary. The woman takes a physical role (breadwinner) and a spiritual role (mother) and leaves very little for the man. What is his role? It's no wonder a man shirks from his “responsibilities.” What are his responsibilities?

Issue #3: Men Love their Playtime-
Men seem to value play and want freedom. However, most men are well aware that marriage isn't always about play. In fact, most of the time it's not about play. Women who value friendship and companionship sometimes think,commitment and children will force them to prioritize their values as they would prefer not to. It's reasonable to see why the male counterpart sometimes shies away from the serious relationship that is presented to him.

Issue #4: Fear of Failure-

Also with the fear of investing in a serious relationship is the fear of failure, and nothing offers as much potential for failure as marriage. It's been said that love is a gamble. It’s cruel. It’s dangerous. Commitment, can be even more of a minefield. No wonder that when love rears its head, many men hesitate – or turn and run.Serious Relationship Phobia

Issue #5: Lack of Options-

Believe it or not, a woman living in the U.S. Today will have far more options than the male counterpart who shares her same economic status. She can decide she wants children, that she wants to work, that she wants to go back to school, that she wants to change her career, that she wants it all.

All of that said; a serious relationship, when done with respect, and very careful consideration can actually be quite pleasant for both sexes...

What do you think are the biggest relationship issues facing couples today?

What have you done to have success in love?

In my new novel this subject is explored in dramatic fashion as Royce Tyler and Paula Daniels experience the ups and downs of trying to make things work in a society that doesn't make things easy.

It's even more difficult when one person is hiding the truth....

To read a FREE 15 Chapter excerpt from Champagne, Jellybeans, and Chocolate click here

Getting back together with your ex....

Getting back together after a long time can seem like a tricky proposition. If you are committed to making this relationship work there are a few things to keep in mind so that you can avoid the potential pitfalls that had you parting ways in the past. It’s a good idea to keep these things in mind as you explore a new relationship whether you've been apart for months or years.

Getting back together after a long time is not that uncommon. Couples are now finding one another and reconnection after years thanks to the power of the Internet and many programs that allow you to touch base with high school and college connections. A few thoughts…Don't work so hard at rekindling an old flame. That flame died for a reason. Make a point of building a new relationship based on the people you are today rather than the person you knew so long ago.
Strong bonds of love stand the test of time. If you really loved each other at one time the chances are that the love you felt didn't go away. It's still there you just might need to work a little bit to rekindle things. Chances are you buried it deep once the relationship ended - whatever the reason for the initial breakup may have been. People change. Hopefully for the better. Take the time to get to know the new person behind the familiar face. Getting to know the new person while remembering the things you loved about at the heart of your former sweetheart will assist you in not focusing on the new expectations and staying more focused on hope for the future. Look forward and not behind.

It is found to be difficult when getting back together after a long break to keep your eyes to the future. There is a past there but that past should stay buried. It’s the past. Don’t bring arguments from the old relationship up and make sure you work hard to live your relationship in the here and now rather than attempting to relive the relationship that ended so long ago. Talk, hold hands, and reminisce. Keep your eyes to the future rather than looking back at the relationships past.

Have you ever gotten back with an ex? If so, how did things work out?
Would you recommend this course of action to someone else?

In my new novel, Champagne, Jellybeans, and Chocolate the main characters reconnect after quite a few years apart. Their lifestyles have taken a change and their are a lot of secrets that they struggle to keep hidden. For a free 15 Chapter preview, click here