Sunday, June 21, 2009

Discussing Money Matters...

Men and women are always curious about how to engage each other in conversations about money. What questions are OK to ask? When do you start asking direct questions about money? Everybody wants to be sure they are financially compatible before they commit to a long-term partnership, but very few are comfortable talking about the issues. Being able to accurately assess financial compatibility is an essential aspect of the dating process and can also be a helpful skill in existing relationships as well. Money issues come up sooner or later so you might as well be up front from the start. Your money personalities do not have to be the same as the people you are dating or even the same as your ideal partner’s.

The critical question is how do the differences affect you? Can you live with the consequences that may result from the differences? Some differences can be easily accommodated. Some differences can cause uneasiness in your relationship resulting in resentments that outlive the love. Is it wise to discuss money matters while dating? If so, when is a good time?

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  1. Great post and one to make you think! Yes, I think if you are getting serious during dating, then money is a must topic. If it's going to go any further, I think discussing each other's opinion on money is a wise thing to do. You don't want to be surprised later on.


  2. This is a very good topic and the answer is not as difficult as one may think. Ironically, as an author, I find that you sometimes do have to judge a book by it's cover. Meaning... If you have a government job bringing in at least $35 G's and your love interest works as a clerk at WalMart. If you are wise, you can almost see the money issues that are brewing in the future. At some point in time, the one bringing in the 35G's a year is going to feel taken advantage of, and it's going to all be in the so called name of love. So my advice on this note is to observe closely and make personal mental notes before even engaging in an introduction. The flesh is weak and you don't want to find yourself in something then 12 months down the line come upon an obstacle ahead that you are not wiling to jump over!

    Marie Antionette

  3. You all are right. Reality is, this topic has to be discussed. the tough part is figuring out when. And...if someone works as a check out clerk, does that mean you end it right there? I hope not...

  4. Niced topic but I have to say sometime that clerk might have it going on better in handling the finances then the 35G federal worker. If you set boundries on how much you can spend without getting the other person's consent and hold to that limit you will avoid the arguing and misunderstandings. Finances can ruin the best relationships unless you have a plan so you have to tackle this subject as soon as you start long term planning.


  5. There are many strategies for handling finances successfully within a relationship. The most important thing is to talk about this, as you have said. In silence, so many assumptions can be made. This just stores up problems for the future. Better to get things out in the open once the relationship starts to get serious.

  6. I like the point that is being made about money management. That can't be underestimated by any means. I agree too, that once you can see things getting serious, discussion needs to take place. Honesty will be the key...