Sunday, October 18, 2009

Getting back together with your ex....

Getting back together after a long time can seem like a tricky proposition. If you are committed to making this relationship work there are a few things to keep in mind so that you can avoid the potential pitfalls that had you parting ways in the past. It’s a good idea to keep these things in mind as you explore a new relationship whether you've been apart for months or years.

Getting back together after a long time is not that uncommon. Couples are now finding one another and reconnection after years thanks to the power of the Internet and many programs that allow you to touch base with high school and college connections. A few thoughts…Don't work so hard at rekindling an old flame. That flame died for a reason. Make a point of building a new relationship based on the people you are today rather than the person you knew so long ago.
Strong bonds of love stand the test of time. If you really loved each other at one time the chances are that the love you felt didn't go away. It's still there you just might need to work a little bit to rekindle things. Chances are you buried it deep once the relationship ended - whatever the reason for the initial breakup may have been. People change. Hopefully for the better. Take the time to get to know the new person behind the familiar face. Getting to know the new person while remembering the things you loved about at the heart of your former sweetheart will assist you in not focusing on the new expectations and staying more focused on hope for the future. Look forward and not behind.

It is found to be difficult when getting back together after a long break to keep your eyes to the future. There is a past there but that past should stay buried. It’s the past. Don’t bring arguments from the old relationship up and make sure you work hard to live your relationship in the here and now rather than attempting to relive the relationship that ended so long ago. Talk, hold hands, and reminisce. Keep your eyes to the future rather than looking back at the relationships past.

Have you ever gotten back with an ex? If so, how did things work out?
Would you recommend this course of action to someone else?

In my new novel, Champagne, Jellybeans, and Chocolate the main characters reconnect after quite a few years apart. Their lifestyles have taken a change and their are a lot of secrets that they struggle to keep hidden. For a free 15 Chapter preview, click here


  1. I have thought about getting back together with an ex. I hear people say that you should never go back, but as you said sometimes the love is still there. I know what mistakes I made in the past and I feel that I have grown past that point. But in order for a relationship to be successful you need to communicate and be willing to compromise. Then hopefully you will be able to move on from the past and have a successful relationship the second time around.

  2. The timing of this post couldn't be better. I ran into my ex this weekend at Homecoming. Needless to say, the spark was definitely still there. We both acknowledged that we had changed and grown as people and that we would explore the possibilities. Your post will help me keep things in perspective and to not look at this relationship with rose-colored glasses (which I tend to do).

  3. I definitely feel that this is one of those things that can end up going very good or end in disaster. I really feel it's important to keep looking forward because after a few years apart you may be getting to know a whole new person depending on their growth. Thanks for your comments.